I wrote this poem after seeing a black friend of mine post about his pain from all the racial injustice. He was lamenting that he felt like the world didn’t value his life. I researched how to support black friends with everything that was going on and the first step I came to was to acknowledge our whiteness. When your color or culture is the standard, you don’t have to think about how you are different. This is something I learned from an earlier class on cultural diversity. This poem is my attempt at acknowledging my part in the systems that uphold the disparities between the races.
Being white to me means
Showing up on time
Or having to show up 15 minutes late
On the dot
To show my friends of color
I too can be late
Being white to me
Means I don’t have to think about
Going against social norms
Or relaxing on my couch in my home
Or playing video games with my nephew in my living room
Being white to me
Means I don’t worry when my sons play with fake guns that they will be gunned down for it
Being white to me
Means cops are friendly,
Obliging,
Public servants
And if I break the law
I will receive a more lenient sentence
Than a person of color who does the same.
Being white to me means crossing the street when I see a man walking towards me in a hoody and his skin happens to be darker than mine.
But, I am a white woman so
I cross the street for anyone coming my way that I can’t take in a throw-down
Last-minute fight
Having a white husband and white children means I get to choose
where they go to school
And I chose the whiter schools
And the whiter neighborhoods
Because they receive more funding
Being white to me means
I can be a Karen with relatively little consequence
And that I don’t have to record my interactions with others to prove I am in the right
Being white to me means wearing a mask
In public does not make people suspect I am up to no good
Being white to me means I might want to help
And only end up hurting
I might want to save someone
Who only wants to be seen
Being white to me means confronting
My family or friends when they throw in negative comments
about Colin Kaepernick
Instead of assuming they are “just good people”
Being white to me means
I can be invisible,
I can be quiet
Without consequence
But my conscience prays
I’m not just another white savior
But a follower of the true Savior.
Being white means
I can say we all matter,
Then walk in complicit ignorance
Denying people of color
Their right to define dignity
Along the same lines as mine.
Being white means that I might be offended
When I am approached about my privilege
But being offended does not in itself make up for the years of silencing and oppressing people of color.
Being white means I should listen more
And then speak up!
Being white means the work is mine and ours to be done.
So let us do it!
The Hard Way Poems 